The Hiding of the Slither

Cleo of the Two Tongues was always used to be playing tricks and never her minding who it was that she tricked; whether or not they were her own kin. It was one day that the Clan Beanbosh was visiting the Ross Castle and the entire company being The Chatty Man, Susan of the Grouse Tongue, Kathy of the Silent Mouth but Sharp Words, Pam of the Odd Nut, The Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman, Sean of the Hero Light, Steven of the Three Shits, and with them all was Cleo of the Two Tongues.

Now this day Sean of the Hero Light had just got himself a new slither and he with his hurling stick was hitting his slither high up into the air and running it down that he might catch it again on the stick.

"It's no playing you'll do around me," warned the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman, she having no like for playing.

"And what is it that you are thinking you will do if I play with my slither here in your presence?" asked Sean of the Blarney Tongue (All Ireland knows that he is sometimes called this name for the time that he kissed the Blarney stone and the stone cried out so loud that it was heard by the whole of Ireland. Ever since that day, any who kiss the Blarney will fall mute because it is that sean of the Hero Light had such the gift of the Blarney that the stone was jealous and sulks to this day.)

"It is taking your slither I am thinking of if you hit it one more time."

It was well known that there was a curse on Sean that any time he was warned from doing a thing he was unable but to do it. He hit the slither high up into the air but if he did the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman did leap into the air and snatched it into her hands. Sean of the Hero Light was struck so that he could not move for it is that the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman is of a law of such physics that a Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman at rest stays at rest and a Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman in motion is unhappy and will stop her motion.

But it was running she was and with the slither in her hands. She made a good run but she had been in motion a goodly five seconds and she began to become unhappy and looked for a place to hide the slither.

Cleo of the Two Tongues appeared in front of her and said, "If it is looking for a place to hide the slither you are then give it to me and I will hide it for you. For I am the grandmother of Sean of the Blarney Mouth and he would never be thinking that it would be I having his slither from him."

Sean of the Hero Light was recovered by now and it was straight to Cleo of the Two Tongues that he came, his hero light shining like a crimson flood and she hiding his slither for the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman.

"Cleo of the Two Tongues," he said, "is it hiding my slither you are?"

"I am your grandmother," said she, "would I be hiding your slither from you for the sake of the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman who is but a stranger to me and you being my own flesh and blood?"

"It is indeed that you would be having my slither from me, me being of your own flesh and blood."

"Oh honey," said she with her one tongue while she passed the slither from behind her back with her other tongue into the hands of Steven of the Three Shits, "I donšt have your slither at all."

Now it was that Sean of the Hero Light saw the tongue of Cleo as it recoiled from Steven, having just passed him the slither, and his hero light did shine; and he did make a mighty run at Steven of Three Shits. But if he did, Steven made a hero throw over the head of Sean of the Blarney Tongue and he not seeing to where it went.

His hero light did shine all the brighter and he performed the feat of the Blustery Brag and it is what he said, "Like the sound of an angry sea, like a great moving wave, with the madness of a wild beast that is vexed, he leaps through his enemies in the crash of battle, they hear their death in his shout. He heaps deed upon deed and head upon head; his name is to be put in songs. As fresh malt is ground by the mill, so shall you be ground by Sean of the Hero Light."

Susan of the Grouse Tongue let out a whimper of amusement and Sean of the Hero Light did give a mighty hero leap at her, knowing it was she held the slither. She gave it a mighty toss that it did sail over his head and into the hands of Kathy of the Silent Mouth but Sharp Tongue.

"It is to me you should be looking for your slither, oh Sean of the Button Lips," said she, causing him to immediately perform the feat of the Button Lips.

His hero rage did swell and he performed the feat of the Futile Threat and it is what he said "I swear by the Gods my people swear by, he will grind you to dust and gravel were you to have the whole of the clan by your side. He will pluck you like ripe apples from the tree, he will tread you under his mighty feet as he would tread on tender grass."

With that, he gave a mighty hero roar and did his leap of the angry moose toward Kathy of the Silent Mouth. But if he did, she rolled it under his leaping feat and he buttoned his lips the harder and his hero light a deeper red than the red itself. He performed the feat of the sleep lulling speech, the feat of the outrageous boast, the feat of the temper tantrum, and the feat of the endless breath, but it was not the slither he gained. Again it was that the slither came to the hands of Steven of the Three Shits and Sean of the Hero Light nearly upon him.

"Gina," said Steven, attempting the magic of girlfriend names.

"It will take more than the names of women to stop Sean of the Hero Light," said Sean of the Blarney Tongue, "and he with his anger upon him."

"Jody," said Steven.

"You would use a charm suited for boys on Sean of the Hero Light?" asked Sean, "He will tear you as the great wind tears the earth." And with that Sean of the Hero Light gave a mighty reach and the slither within his grasp.

But if he did, it was what Steven of the Three Shits said, "Kay." The great Hero withered like a reed in drought in a heap of humility.

"You are the hero of fleas," said Steven of the Three Shits, "Your hero light is as bright as the sun at midnight, brighter only than you yourself."

At that the Hero light of Sean of the Hero Light did burn more brightly than a light has ever burned and he did rise to his full height coming again on Steven of the Three Shits.

"It is not to me your attention should be turned," said Steven, "but it is to Sneaky that is coming up behind you."

"It is not afraid of Sneaky I am," said Sean of the Hero Light in his Hero Soprano. But it was then that Steven did make the Sneaky Music and Seanšs courage did run like a river down his leg. His hero light did begin to dim and it was that he performed the feat of the very near tears causing the arms of his enemies to whither in pity that the very next throw dribbled to his very feet and he able to pick it up with his mighty hero bend.

It was now that Cleo of the Two Tongues came to him and it was that she said, "Poor, poor, grandson. It is a sad thing what your family has done, betraying you to the Sun-Fried Mud-Stuck Woman and something I would never be doing."

Sean of the Hero Light, knowing that she was making ready to pull some further trickery spoke her secret name of shame saying, "I believe you Ms. Connelly." And it was that she vanished then and there and was off to find a tournament of Ring Toss.